The Beginning or the End?

Sometimes you wonder why bad things happen? Do they happen because you did something wrong or do they happen just because they were meant to happen? When they happen in excess is it because you are living your life the wrong way or simply that it is your turn for challenges? Why do sometimes all paths in the road of life seem to be blocked, or have horrible challenges down each one?



I have been thinking about this a lot, and have determined that I do not know the answers, and that possibly no one knows the answers. Right now I know that there are MANY options ahead for Tom and I, but I cannot see what we should do or what we should be doing differently in life to make things better. All I know is that right now the best thing for our family is for Tom to get out of the Army as fast as he possibly can. But this does not make anything all better. It does not make our debt go away, it does not mean that Tom just magically has a job waiting, it does not mean that things will be okay in the Army until he does get out, and it does not mean that I will be able to feed my children next month.

The other day someone told me "just wait, good things happen to good people". Well right now, I would love to know when they do. Personally, I think that good things happen to bad people as much as they happen to good people. I think that bad things happen to good people as much as they happen to bad people. I think that right now I need to stop waiting for the good to happen in life, and for good things to "happen to me" and just see where I can get. But I am also not going to wait for the bad things to happen either. I think that there have been enough of them to go around.



So some good things that are happening right now are... that Tom and I have an appointment to get help with quitting smoking. I cannot take myself being a bitch without them anymore and hopefully if I can get on some medication to help me stop then it will help. When I am being like that I feel that my family is suffering and that I am pushing them away and I really do not want to feel like that. Oh and we got some of our bills reduced, and we are going to keep trying on the other ones. We are also cutting things out that we do not need. And Tom is in a new section that is "supposedly" going to be working here at APG instead of at Edgewood so that should be saving us gas money. Right now we need to find ways to make up the $400 a month that we are losing. So this is a pretty good start.



I am going to start looking for a job on Monday. Something in evenings or nights probably at a gas station or something because we cannot afford child care at all. Tom is going to try to get a job delivering pizzas or something to help supplement also. So just keep your fingers crossed with that.

So that is what is going on with us right now. Thanks for reading!!